To all our ACE families,
The holidays are coming and this means family gatherings, parties, etc. This can be a stressful time for families as all the excitement and commotion can be overwhelming for our little ones. Speak to your teacher and lead and ask them how you should navigate this with your little one. Your ABA teacher and lead may have some suggestions for you about how to address behaviors and how to be proactive about handling upcoming events.
The holidays should be a happy time but they can also be a time of increased stress for parents and families. Let’s try to make it as stress-free as possible!
ACE Full-Day ABA Training: December 10, 2017
ACE Annual Rules & Regulations Meeting: Nov. 2, 2017
Another Rules & Regulations Meeting for the ACE team of teachers and therapists. Sue Lerner spoke about City and State regulations. Dr. Gary Hitzig discussed Medicaid regulations. ACE therapists and ACE administrators also enjoyed a nice dinner and evening seeing old friends retraining and revising important Early Intervention information.
Below is a list of common behavior problems, which a child may exhibit at formal events, followed by suggestions on how to prevent them!
Formal events can be tricky for all children to successfully maneuver. Holiday events, weddings, bar mitzvahs, graduations and other gatherings can be especially stressful for kids with psychiatric, learning and attention issues. By anticipating what might cause behavior problems at formal events, you can make it easier for your child to attend and have a great time.
Behavior Trigger #1: Restrictive Clothing for kids who are extra-sensitive to clothing textures- or those who are simply miserable wearing things like collars, button-down shirts and pants with elastic waists – dressy attire can be irritating to the point of causing a meltdown.
What to Do: Err on the side of making the child comfortable, not picture-perfect. Let him wear comfortable layers, and give him permission to remover them after a certain time. For instance, maybe he wears the suit jacket for family photos only. If this bothers relatives, you can assure them that everyone is having a better time because of his more relaxed look.
Behavior Trigger #2: Too much sitting quietly at ceremonies can feel impossibly long when you’re expected to be silent and still!
What to Do: Find out how long the service might be. You might consider having your child skip an 80-minute ceremony and instead attend the reception. If you do want him to attend, consider the following tips, first.
- Prepare him for the amount of sitting he’ll have to do.
- If reading is a problem, tell him he doesn’t have to follow along with passages.
- Consider bringing small toys he can play with quietly.
- Sit near an exit so he can make a quit departure if he truly needs a break.
Behavior Trigger #3: All the contact hugs, handshakes, pats on the back, dancing closely to one another at formal events are rife with personal contact. If touching is problematic for you child, he may feel like recoiling at every turn.
What to Do: Role-play interactions with family and friends before the event so he knows how greetings might look and feel. If your child can’t handle casual touches, encourage him to smile, wave and make and maintain eye contact during hellos and conversations.
Behavior Trigger #4: Unclear rituals: kids may feel anxious and become boisterous if they’re just told to quietly and go along with what’s happening (for example, standing and sitting during a church or synagogue service) without understanding the sequence of events.
What to Do: Days before the event, talk to your child about what he’ll experience, the location, timeframe, who’ll be there, what will be expected of him and how the event will unfold. The morning of the event during the drive over run through it again. During breaks (after the ceremony and before the reception, for example), remind you child what comes next.
Behavior Trigger #5: Overstimulation! A noisy room full of dancing people and flashing lights can be way too much for children who are sensitive to sights and sounds.
What to Do: Establish a quiet place where your child can retreat to read, color or do another solo activity if he needs some peace. That might be a neighboring room in the same building, your hotel room upstairs, or even the car. Also, be reasonable about how long to stay at an event. For instance, leaving early and missing the toasts may be better than staying and having your child be miserable or embarrass himself.
Behavior Trigger #6: Making small-talk it can be daunting for kids to engage in dinner conversation with the people sitting at their assigned table. Depending on your child, he may clam up or nervously monopolize the conversations.
What to Do: In the days leading up to the event, reinforce conversation basics and practice coverversation starters. Encourage your child to practice with you, siblings and friends. If you’re not sitting next to your child at dinner, remind him he can find you if he’s feeling overwhelmed by the conversations.
Behavior Trigger #7: Unfamiliar foods and meals are a major part of most formal events. For kids with picky palates, sensory issues or allergies, unfamiliar food can be cause for distress.
What to Do: Pack and bring what you know your child can eat. Encourage him to try what looks interesting, but don’t force the issue. Someone else’s big day isn’t the ideal time to insist your child try something new.
On the morning of April 19, 2013, Sue Lerner, Dr. Gary Hitzig, and Dawn Falbee had the honor of presenting “The Real Outcomes of Early Intervention” to distinguished NYC officials of the Bureau of Early Intervention at the Department of Health & Mental Hygiene in Long Island City, Queens. The presentation was well received and followed by an enthusiastic Question and Answer session.
Sue Lerner speaking at Adelphi University – March 2012
Autism Speaks Walk at Jones Beach, October 4th, 2009
ACE Annual Rules & Regulations Meeting
The Accelerated Childhood Education Annual Rules & Regulations Meeting was held at The Village Club of Sands Point on October 28th. ACE Independent Contractors filled the room ready to participate in discussions about City and State initiatives. We discussed ACE’s own internal procedures, as well. The meeting was a resounding success!